I'm a thirteen year old boy

Yes, I'm afraid its true, I have the maturity of a thirteen year old. This past weekend a friend of mine came in from out of town, and in the true nature of visiting friends, we decided to be tourists. So, in to DC we went. We saw lots of cool things, like a tour of the capitol building, the Washington Monument, The National Archives (where I personally saw the Declaration of Independence), the Lincoln and Jefferson Memorials, and the Museum of Natural History. It was at this last location that I demonstrated my true age and, unfortunately, sex. In the section dedicated to dinosaurs there was an area dedicated to dinosaur workers at work. It was here that I took the following picture:

Ok, so, if you can't make it out, this sign informs the viewer that work is being done on the bones of a Titanosaur. Now, most people would take a glance at this sign and read it as Titan-o-saur. Thirteen year old boys, however, would see this sign at saying TIT-o-saur and then snicker as they picture a large breasted dino. Which are you? Which do you suppose I was?

More Movie Reviews... I Have No Life!

Yes, that's correct, I have now been to 6 movies in about 2 weeks. I cannot say that I am especially proud of this fact, but alas, I will pass on my thoughts anyhow.

Transformers - 2 thumbs way up. I have 3 words to describe this movie: BEST MOVIE EVER! Alright, I admit it, I delayed on seeing this movie because I thought I wouldn't like it. I'm a girl, I like girl movies. I really didn't expect to like this movie so much, but it really was great. Thank you to my good friend BChab for telling me I definitely had to see this in the theater! Obviously this movie has great special effects, but it also has a plot! Go figure! It kinda had an "Independence Day" feel to it in the way a lot of different people are doing things in a lot of different places and then they all come together to fight the bad guys. It's gotta just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I don't want to give away too many details but, lets just say it is nice to know that other people (even made up people) have intense emotional feelings toward their inanimate objects. GO SEE THIS MOVIE!

Ocean's 13 - 1 1/2 thumbs up. Ok, as you have probably guessed the pool of movies I would like to see has inevitably thinned. On account of this fact I have been forced to "think outside the box" for movies to see. Enter the cheap theater. You know this theater, it is usually a little run down and in a somewhat sketchy area. The movies are cheapER (hence the name cheap theater), and they are also the movies that have just left the "real" movie theaters. Now, I hope you noticed my emphasis on the word cheapER. The movie was still $4, which kinda seemed like a rip off considering that sometimes the color was off and the film had shifted so that it was projected on most of the screen and a little part of the wall, leaving a nice 1 foot margin of screen that wasn't covered by anything. The movie didn't start until almost 10:00, which honestly is past my bed time these days. So, I got to the theater (no easy feat as you can only enter the building from the back alley area of the shopping mall/center thing). It was sketchy as all hell, and I had mild delusions of getting knifed for my designer flip flops (Reefs) on the way into the building. Really, I couldn't even get into the theater building as they make you pay at the door. I was stuck holding the door, in an effort not to let the thing rest on my ass, as I stood there in the door way and listened to the customers in front of me haggle on the movie prices. NOT KIDDING! Apparently there is some sort of student discount (a whole dollar! (yes Audrey)) but the guy only had one student ID for him and his date. The proprietor of this fine movie theater wasn't budging on prices. Finally I got to the front of the line and set my four one dollar bills on the counter. Chester (as I imagine that is what his name must have been), looked at my money and said Whoaaa! I looked at him and said Ocean's 13 please. I am still at a loss as to why my four dollars elicited such a response from this man. I mean, there were probably 3 signs (hand written on yellowed construction paper) that read "CASH ONLY." Oh well, I guess that will have to be one of life's many mysteries.

So, I got into the theater and it was dark. I mean pitch freakin black. So, I stood at the back of the theater and tried to see where I was going to be forced to sit. I admit I was a tad late and the movie had already started. I REALLY HATE THAT! I quickly got to my seat and had a flashback to my youth. I believe now is a good time to give a shout out to the Plaza Cinemas movie theater back home. When I was a kid you could catch a double feature at the Plaza for a couple dollars. But that's not all you could catch there!!! Joking aside here folks, communicable diseases are not a laughing matter. When I was a kid, I actually got lice from this otherwise reputable crack house, I mean, movie theater. So, as I sat there trying to figure out what Brad Pitt and George Clooney were up to I gingerly laid my head back against the seat and prayed for the best.

Well, the movie was pretty good. I must say, I went in with pretty low expectations. For anyone that saw Ocean's 12, you can understand why I expected the worst. But this Ocean movie was much, much better that 12. It is not as good as 11, but it was entertaining. At times it did feel like they were trying a little too hard to have crazy twists and turns in the plot, but all in all, it was pretty good. I think the fact that the movie is set back in Vegas really helped bring back the Ocean's 11 feel. So, if you have a "cheap" theater showing this movie I say, why not? Otherwise, renting it is probably a good idea.

Stardust - 2 thumbs up. This one is a little difficult to review right now as I am still thinking about it. I just saw this movie today and I notice that pieces of it have been floating in and out of my brain all evening. I guess that is a good sign. Ok, let me just say, I really liked the movie. I think it was extremely well made, the special effects were nothing short of amazing, the storyline was original (or as original as anything in Hollywood is these days), the actors were great, and it was funny. Having said all that, I don't really see the movie doing well in the theaters. I just imagine it is a tough movie to sell. It doesn't really have a target audience. It is a sci-fi movie that is a love story. Those are not two genres that go together. Although, I guess you could say that it has something for both men and women. I really don't think the previews do it justice. Hands down, the best character was Robert DeNiro's. He didn't have a large part, but he was hilarious. I thought the creepy obese man next to me was going to pee himself during several of the DeNiro scenes (he was one of those movie goers that repeats the line he thinks is funny and THEN laughs at it, so damn annoying). So, please, go see this movie. It was really good and I would love to know what you think of it. Warning: I never said it wasn't predictable, but it is still so worth seeing.

Alrighty, so apparently I like to ramble, if you made it this far, thanks for reading. Not to get too serious, but, I have been very lonely today and I just want to say to all my friends out there how much I miss you all. I can't wait to see you again and I hope you all are happy and well.

Goodnight.

Phi Beta Kappa at Discover Card

I received a letter in the mail yesterday from my friends at Discover Card. "We have been trying to reach you, please contact us at your earliest convenience." SHIT. What now? Did I do something wrong? Miss a payment? Go over my limit? Not redeem my points in time? Buy something not Discover-worthy? I start to dial the number they gave me, having to stop only once to control the tremors in my hands (much like the message I received from my student loan company requesting that I call them, I was scared!) An ever so pleasant little man answered the phone. (Note: I believe we have my mother, and her mother before her, to thank for the fact that any male worker is referred to as a "little man." This reference is always the same regardless of size and usually age. However, if the man is extremely old he is usually a "little old man" and if he is especially nice he is the "nice little man" or the "nice little old man." If he is not helpful at all he is usually not a "little man" at all and we have a slew of other words with which to address him.)

So, the nice little man that answered the phone asked for my account number name, social, people on my account, blood type, astrological sign, etc., you know, the usual stuff. He asked what he could help me with and I informed him that I had received a letter indicating they were trying to contact me. "Oh yes," says the nice little man, "when did you receive that letter." I received it today I comment, looking at the fact that the letter was dated at the end of July (the post office has been a little slow in the mail forwarding department.) "Oh really," little man exclaims, "I see that was sent out at the end of July!" Little man is clearly distressed by this fact and I act quickly in an effort to put his mind at ease. "Yes," I say sheepishly, "you see, I have recently moved and this was forward from my previous address, so, I think it must have gotten delayed."

Little man begins to stammer apologies in a way that leads me to believe he has fears of my knifing him over the phone. "Oh, no Miss, its fine, I wasn't trying to rebuke you." REBUKE. Yes, he said rebuke. Who says rebuke? What I really wanted to say was, "Mister, if you can work the word rebuke into normal everyday conversation, why are you answering phones at Discover Card, clearly you are over qualified." In the alternative, I should have at least made some comment declaring that I did not perceive his oration as an admonishment. Instead I merely backpedaled and explained that I was simply telling him why it had taken so long to get to me.

Bravo Discover Card, you are clearly hiring those that speak to your average customer in a way that is far above their intelligence!

I Want A Donut

Once upon a time a beautiful princess like creature awoke to a serene Sunday morning. She was joined in her bed by a well behaved slumbering dog like creature. Suddenly it came to her attention that she desired to have a donut and some coffee.

Well that's too damn bad.

Apparently, donuts are too much to ask for in Virginia. Learning the hard way that I am not going to find the things I need by simply driving around and discovering them, I decided to research the donut situation online. I realize this may seem a little extreme but, lets keep in mind that I really have nothing better to do. So, I found this wonderful little donut shop on the yellow pages website AND it was even close to home. I have discovered that the closer I stay to home, the quicker it is for me to get UNlost. I decided to take my fun loving dog with me as he has found a way to enter my roommates bedroom while he is sleeping. In an effort to preserve the harmony, I thought taking the beast would be a good idea. (Although, seeing as how I got flipped off by him this morning solely for being a woman (apparently the date didn't go so well last night) maybe I should have let Star Puppy break into his room and romp on his head. Hmm...) Anyway, as I was saying, Mr. Star and I drove over to Starbucks where an angel sold me the elixir of life. Then I went to the location described by my friends at Yahoo! Maps. The donut store was not there :( What's more is that I got stuck on an dead end street by some geese, yes geese, that thought it was a perfect morning to be frolicking in the street. So here I am waiting in my car in the middle of the road, while the geese proceed to spread out in such a formation that I could almost here them saying "Red Rover, Red Rover, send Focus right on over." Stupid geese. Finally there was a break in the line, and their chanting stopped, than I revved my engine and quickly went around them, barely making it out alive.

DONUTS, MUST HAVE DONUTS...
Fine, I guess I will just go to stupid Dunkin' Donuts. I hate their donuts there, but apparently beggars can't be choosers. So, I drive to the DD, wait in line for a while and then read the little sign that says "sorry for the inconvenience, but we do not accept ATM/Credit cards." WHAT!?!?!? Who the hell carries cash anymore?! Certainly not me. So, I got back in my car and dejectedly drove off. I soon realize that I have no gasoline in my car (seriously, how is it that I only drove 200 miles on a tank of gas?) So, I went home. Sad, huh? No donuts for me. I did however make some pancakes which turned out wonderful.

Missing Stanford Street

Hello dear readers! So, yesterday concluded my first week in Virginia. I think it is safe to say that I am ready to come home. It is hot and humid here, and I think we all know how I feel about hot and humid (if you don't know, then you don't know me at all, stop reading.)

Okay, a little something about my blog. As many of you know, one of my favorite phrases is "That's what she said!" Clearly a blog of that title would have been fantastic. Alas, that name what not available, so I chose this one. I have to say, the name has grown on me and it takes some of the pressure off of creating a fantastic blog. Now my blog can be merely adequate. Whew!

So, I have run out of things to say (this is harder than it looks... "That's what she said!" Sorry I just had to!) So, in an effort to do something useful I will close with some movie reviews...

I have become quite the motion picture goer and am happy to pass on my useless thoughts to you all.

The Bourne Ultimatum: Two Thumbs Up!! Ok, let me just say it... I loved the movie. I thought it was far better than the second one, but not as good as the first (although I am really not sure if there was a way to even compete with the first). The one complaint I have is that some times the fight scenes were too close up or too fast and you couldn't quite tell what was going on. This was one of my several complaints with the second one, although in Ultimatum it wasn't as noticeable. The other crazy/weird thing is that if you watch the end of the second one, you will see a scene where Bourne leaves the home of the daughter of his first victims. He is clearly injured in that scene. The next thing you see is him in NY talking to Pam (yes, we are on a first name basis), that is when she tells him his real name. Okay, all this to say that the third movie picks up with an injured Bourne right after leaving the daughter of the victims' house but then the Pam phone call doesn't happen until the middle of the third movie. No, I am not on drugs, but I admit that this tripped me out a little. All in all: So worth it to see in the theaters!

No Reservations: One Thumb Up. TOTAL CHICK FLICK. First off, let me just say that the streets are really confusing here in Va. I get lost every time I leave the house. I blame it on the fact that there are five different streets with the same name. Was the movie theater on Fairfax Drive, Fairfax Street, Fairfax Lane, Fairfax Corner (who the hell names a street Something CORNER!), or Fairfax Place. Coming from someone who still isn't sure which is High and which is State Street (you Mainers get this!) you can understand why such things are troubling for me. Ok, all that to say that I did not intend to go see this movie. I was trying to see "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" (see below), when I ended up at the wrong movie theater. By the time I arrived at the correct theater I was too late. So, I decided to go grab a beer (did you know they can smoke in the bar areas of restaurants here!?!?) and then I saw whatever the next non-animated movie was playing... No Reservations. So, if you are a guy, you are going to hate this movie. It really has no redeeming macho qualities. Having said that, it was the perfect movie for the place I was in at the time. Not a lot of thinking, not a lot of drama, just people needing people, love and comfort. GAG! No, but seriously, it was pretty cute. And a nod to the Little Miss Sunshine actress who did the "I'm so sad my mom just died" tears like a pro. She was very good.

Last and Least:
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry: One and a half Thumbs Down. The funniest thing about this movie was me attempting to use the video "purchase your own ticket" machine. I walk up to the seemingly idiot proof monitor guaranteeing easy ticket purchases with no line. I touch the screen in the place marked for the English language. Me: 1, Monitor: 0. When would you like to see your selection?: I hit Today. Me: 2, Monitor: 0. Ahhh, the hard part: What movie would you like to see? I begin to scroll through the listings... my movie is not here!! I go through them again... nope, no Chuck and Larry. I break out into a cold sweat imagining I have gone to Fairfax Lane instead of Fairfax Corner again. I press cancel and walk toward the human ticket vendors. I read through the list of movies showing, yup, there it is, I am definitely in the right place. I go back to a different monitor (clearly the first ticket machine was faulty). I go through the first two questions with ease. Now the monitor asks me (in a mocking font): What movie would you like to see? I scroll through the listings, not there. It then occurs to me that they are probably alphabetized, ok, lets start at the "I's." It is not there!! The only thing that is there is some movie I have never heard of "I Now Pron". Clearly a foreign film. Come to find out, "I Now Pron" is short for "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry." Huhh, go figure, I guess the ticket machines aren't idiot proof after all.
So, the movie. Just not that funny. I guess I was expecting more. I rarely feel this way, but toward the end of the movie I actually caught myself thinking that the movie was a waste of money. (This is something I rarely think about concerning movies). See it if you must, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Ok, sorry this was so long! More later!