Monday, October 29, 2007

Random Irritants

Excessive Nudity in the Locker Room

Fine. Maybe I'm just a huge prude, but I don't believe there is a need to traipse around the locker room stark-freaking naked. Today, a fellow workout peer went from the front of the locker room area to the showers (a distance of some 50-60 feet) butt naked. Fortunately, I was behind her, so all I saw was her butt. I'm not even talking underwear here folks, come on! At least put a towel on! On a side note, she had tan lines from a thong (or so I imagine), definitely NOT a prude!

Sports Announcers Using Huge Words

Have you ever noticed this? I swear, I'm trying to chill out and watch a little baseball (yea, Sox) or football (Go Pats!) and I have to put up with thumbing through my Oxford Dictionary trying to interpret the lame joke some announcer just made. We are common people here, please speak to your audience!

DC Traffic

Need I say more? It took me an hour and a half to get OUT of the city on Sunday morning (stupid Marine Corps Marathon).

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Too Much Alcohol

**I would like to caution you all, this is an embarrassing story and actually made me change a color (red). I am sharing it with you in hopes that it will be therapeutic for me.

On Monday night I made some poor choices. The first of my choices started with my having a couple beers. Slightly worse choices commenced when I had a few glasses of wine. My judgement was completely gone when I switched to whiskey. Now, I imagine you all know of the effects of the consumption of such beverages, so I will not bore you with details of my night.

When I awoke the next morning (after going to sleep somewhere between 3 and 4 am) I was treated with an unfriendly feeling in my stomach. Don't get me wrong, I did not feel nauseous, I felt ... something else. Now, as I was not in my own home (thanks to a responsible friend who let me stay over), I was starting to panic as to what might come of this abdominal discomfort.

Needless to say, I did not have the best day yesterday and made an effort to not stray too far from the "Little Star's Room." I assumed, however, that I would feel better today (Wednesday). Hmmm. Not so much.

So, here I am sitting in class. Thankfully I sit in the back row, and thankfully no one sits within 4 seats of me on either side (normally I am personally offended by this fact, hey! I don't smell!) Suddenly, my stomach emits the loudest, craziest "processing" noise imaginable. I try to keep my head straight ahead like I either don't hear anything or as if the noise is not coming from me, therefore there is no need to be embarrassed. Meanwhile, the never ending noise continues, changing in pitch and variance during its general complaint toward the rest of my body. People begin to turn their heads in my direction looking at me as they do to those individuals who leave their phones on vibrate through class and then don't notice the irritating buzzing when a call comes through. I can feel my face turning red, but there is really nothing that can be done about all this.

I am now trying to delude myself into thinking that they all assume it was just my stomach growling, it is 12:45 after all!! It could happen! (Although I think we all know that those noises are distinctly different.)

Sigh... Is this really what its all about?

Monday, October 22, 2007

Air Guitar... Underestimated and Often Misunderstood

The air guitar is one of my favorite instruments. The beauty of the air guitar is that almost anyone can play it without sounding horrible, but few can play it with a style that can make one weep. It just so happens that today I was treated to a concert performed by a solo artist that was a master of his craft... the air guitar. What added to this incredible performance was the venue, an open air slightly raised platform, and of course the performer's costume choice. Often times when we find ourselves at a concert of magnitude, at a highly populated event, it can be difficult to find convenient, comfortable, and affordable seating. Yet again, I hit the jackpot again, and got to enjoy the performance from the driver's seat of my car while waiting for a right turn signal at the longest traffic light in the world. Thankfully it occurred to me that my blogger friends might want to join in my musical experience with enough time to snap off a few pics. I took several pictures with my camera phone (sorry about the quality), unfortunately, due to the intense choreography of the performance, only two of them came out. Enjoy!!








This is a classic shot. Notice that the musician is holding an ipod (or similar device), he hears the music through his earphones and then strums out the beat on his air guitar. Also, kudos to the costuming department. I don't know if you can tell, but those are not ordinary pants that he is wearing, indeed those are full length sweat pants that have been rolled up. Also, please note that he is sporting a white t-shirt on his head, I would like to remind you how difficult this style choice is to pull off, bravo, sir, bravo!




Another great action shot!!!

Definitely the highlight of my day!!!



Monday, October 15, 2007

Lordess of the Flies

**Caution, this post contains nudity**

For those of you who have heard me rant about the showers in the gym at school, forgive this post.

At GT we have one of the most wonderful, state of the art gyms I have ever seen at an institution of higher learning. Having said that, the showers are some of the grossest I have ever seen (and I have seen my fair share of nastified showers). The locker room is wonderful, complete with a jacuzzi and water extractor for your swim suit. The only thing that is sub-par are the showers. The showers are gank!! First off, the showers were made for someone who was approximately 5'2". I am not 5'2". Secondly, the showers were clearly designed to be put near the bathrooms at the beach, you know the ones, so people could hit the little button and get 5000 lbs. of water forced at their sandy feet in a solid thick stream. Although these shower nozzles are tremendous at removing sand (and sometimes skin) from your feet, the powerful jet of water is not oh so comfortable in the shower setting. As if all this wasn't bad enough, imagine a shower where the walls and curtains (which are approximately 4 inches to narrow to cover the shower opening) are coated with a substance that I imagine some homeless animal might eat for the protein content.

As if all this isn't gross enough, here is what happened to me today. I was in the shower, naked (aha! there's the nudity you were promised) and doing the cleaning. I was in the rinse process, after the shampoo and body soap, but before the final conditioning, when I should look down at my leg and see a very dead, very water logged fly. EWWWW!! I still do not know where this creature came from, but I can assure you that it was not there earlier (I know this because I had just soaped my precious legs and I think I would have noticed a huge dead fly on my leg). So there you have it, the showers at the gym are freakin' nasty.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Dating Do's and Don't's

Really not so much Do's but more along the lines of Don't's

Don't try to pick up women in a 7-11
Don't wait until she is ready to check out and stand in line right behind her, so close that she can smell how much cologne you are wearing
Don't wear the whole bottle of cologne when you go out
Don't hurry through your transactions and try to race the girl to her car frantically trying to get her attention so you can give her more of your icky, creepy flirts
Don't then get in your car and proceed to follow her on the highway, racing to pull even with her and then giving her your nasty flirty smiles and icky creepy eyes.

Ok, that's your lesson for today. You all owe me a great service for sacrificing my morning as well as my safety for this valuable lesson.

Boys are gross.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Don't Try This at Home

Ok, so I know it has been a while since I have made a post and I fully intend to do that. I am not going to do that now though. This is just a quick little note about something that I find terribly amusing. So, here I am sitting in class (yes, right now, that is why I need to make this short) and I am glancing around (because I am bored out of my mind) and what should I spot, but this lady in front of me taking notes on her computer. It is then that I notice that there is something terribly wrong with her computer screen. The whole thing is turned on its side. The computer looks completely normal but the image is sideways, so that if you want to read it you would have to tilt your head completely to the left. My classmate is clearly perplexed by this and she has now spent 10 minuted making confused hand gestures and pushing every button she can think of. Two questions: How the hell did she do that? And why is that even an option, is there a need for that?

Note: She is currently taking notes by hand.

More to come later...