**I would like to caution you all, this is an embarrassing story and actually made me change a color (red). I am sharing it with you in hopes that it will be therapeutic for me.
On Monday night I made some poor choices. The first of my choices started with my having a couple beers. Slightly worse choices commenced when I had a few glasses of wine. My judgement was completely gone when I switched to whiskey. Now, I imagine you all know of the effects of the consumption of such beverages, so I will not bore you with details of my night.
When I awoke the next morning (after going to sleep somewhere between 3 and 4 am) I was treated with an unfriendly feeling in my stomach. Don't get me wrong, I did not feel nauseous, I felt ... something else. Now, as I was not in my own home (thanks to a responsible friend who let me stay over), I was starting to panic as to what might come of this abdominal discomfort.
Needless to say, I did not have the best day yesterday and made an effort to not stray too far from the "Little Star's Room." I assumed, however, that I would feel better today (Wednesday). Hmmm. Not so much.
So, here I am sitting in class. Thankfully I sit in the back row, and thankfully no one sits within 4 seats of me on either side (normally I am personally offended by this fact, hey! I don't smell!) Suddenly, my stomach emits the loudest, craziest "processing" noise imaginable. I try to keep my head straight ahead like I either don't hear anything or as if the noise is not coming from me, therefore there is no need to be embarrassed. Meanwhile, the never ending noise continues, changing in pitch and variance during its general complaint toward the rest of my body. People begin to turn their heads in my direction looking at me as they do to those individuals who leave their phones on vibrate through class and then don't notice the irritating buzzing when a call comes through. I can feel my face turning red, but there is really nothing that can be done about all this.
I am now trying to delude myself into thinking that they all assume it was just my stomach growling, it is 12:45 after all!! It could happen! (Although I think we all know that those noises are distinctly different.)
Sigh... Is this really what its all about?
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4 comments:
Wow... um, yeah, that's about all I can say! It could have been worse though... you could have been in church during prayer. :) We are on a "silver lining" kick over at my house tonight. :)
Oh my.......Sorry, but FUNNUY! I am subbing in computer lab (you could hear a pin drop)and part of my anatomy is coming off right now from laughing, but I can't make any noise so I am just shaking.....So sorry for your pain!
at least you didn't shit yourself. I mean, right??
i consider most days at least a minor victory if they don't end with fecal matter (my own or someone/thing else's) on me.
Guess I'm on a bit of a silver lining kick too! Or intestinal lining.
yeah, serves you right for having whiskey without me.
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